Last year, I was going through a stressful time. I was taking care of of my young daughter, managing her boredom, tantrums, the need to navigate through the pandemic necessitated virtual classes and the subsequent homework load. At the same time, there was housework that was never over. On top of that, I was taking care of my elderly, very ill and bed-ridden father.

Undoubtedly, I was hassled, rushed and pulled at from every direction. My daily routine was being determined by the relentless needs and demands of those I was taking care of. As a result, my mind just couldn’t calm down! It would keep racing between the issues, the worries, and the overwhelming needs and chores, like a rudderless boat.

All of us have been edgy (to say the least) for the past two years: The kids being home, on and off, the threat of the pandemic and contamination, money related worries, the sky-rocketing price of amenities and their delay and shortage related worries, etc. To say the least, it’s been crazy and super stressful for all of us!

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Consequently, my therapist told me to start meditation a try as an alternate form of therapy. I was annoyed as I was hoping she would prescribe me some anxiety relieving pills instead.

Confessions of a Former Meditation Skeptic

The reason of my skepticism towards meditations was that I considered it a mambo jumbo. I felt that sure enough, meditation would release some of my stress. However, it couldn’t help me find real solutions to my most pressing problems still!

Apparently, my therapist was of the opinion that the more cumbersome the issue happened to be, the longer and deeper I needed to mediate.

Easier said than done, right?

Isn’t it easy to just reach out for anti anxiety pill or your social media feed on your smartphone, to dumb down the noise in your head? I admit that I would pop a sedative back then to put me in a state of semi-numbness and a forced nap. Or, I would end up browsing Facebook and Instagram aimlessly for hours, when that much-needed sleep would delude me.

Meditation Helped Me Discover….

Despite my initial skepticism, I did end up giving meditation a try. I had to! I was too frustrated and was feeling really really ill!

Here are the things that happened once I was able to successfully and consistently incorporate meditation into my routine:

Firstly, I realized that I needed to put my oxygen mask first in order to be able to effectively take care of my loved ones. This means that meditation, or any other self-care, mindful practice for that matter is just like your oxygen mask. It helps you:

• find the center of calm in chaos.
• catch your breath.
• regain your inner balance.
• replenish your energy.

Though I was unable to find the solution the issues pressing me at that time, I was able to condition my response towards them. I was able to crank up my coping mechanism.

• Furthermore, I was able to develop the mindset towards finding unusual solutions or solutions from unusual places, enlist a little bit of help wherever I could, and more importantly, to say no whenever I could.
• Moreover, I let go of the desire to change the reality, wishing for my reality to be different. Acceptance helped me come to terms with my unique situation.
• Most importantly, I was able to develop the patience to accept a few things as they were, letting go of the urge to fix them.

Of course, all of this didn’t come about instantaneously. Evidently, most of us expect a positive change to occur almost overnight. Consequently, we get disappointed when it doesn’t!

To clarify, the shift that came about was in me, not in my crazy routine, the duties that I was fulfilling. There weren’t fewer people to take care of, or lesser things to be get done. What did change eventually was my approach towards things and how I was responding to the demands and needs of others towards me.

Learning to Mediate Properly Needs Dedication and Effort

As I have said before, the mental shift hasn’t been easy. It took me a considerable amount of time and effort to teach my mind to switch off from the chaos and start focusing on calmness and inner peace.

In fact, it took me a lot of effort and maneuvering to start taking out 5-10 minutes from my hectic schedule for myself. Eventually, I learnt to dedicate that time towards my own self-care and mental and emotional growth instead.

Emphatically, I was able to meditate for 5 minutes on an odd day in the week, then at odd hours in a hectic day. It is worthy to mention that there was no need to get hold of special equipment or having a lot of time at hand to be able to meditate. All I needed was 10 minutes of alone time in a quiet corner. So, I was able to start meditation regularly and then for longer stretches of time.

Initially, it wasn’t easy to resist the the urge to use my few and far in between free moments to browse my social media feed mindlessly. In fact, the meditation practice made me mindful of what I was choosing as a means to soothe myself. It made me aware that I had to do better than crashing in front of the TV, aimlessly scrolling through the addictive, but empty, social media feed, ranting to my friends through text messages, and overdosing on tea. It meant that eventually I started to assess the quality of my me-time and consequently start using it more wisely.

The Final Analysis

Conclusively, meditation is a very handy and useful tool in the arsenal of busy moms and caregivers. It is like the oxygen mask that you learn to put on first in order to be able to take care of others. Meditation helps us reclaim some of our time and energy from taking care of our families and the competing priorities and dedicating it towards self-care.