He broke up with you. Or, you broke up with him! Or, it was a mutual decision!
Getting over heartbreak is one of the HARDEST things you would learn to do in life! You would feel lots of emotions: anger, sadness, even doubt and confusion, and loneliness.
You are left behind to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart. The pain is unbelievable! As intensely personal and unique the experience seems to you, most of us have been there, even multiple times!
You know what! Heartache doesn’t feel less lousy or painful the 2nd time around, or the 3rd. No matter how many times you undergo a breakup, the heartache, hurt, pain and anguish are horrible! In fact, every breakup ends up leaving you a little bit wiser, but a whole lot more bitter and hopeless from inside!
Also See: Hacking heartbreak: the ultimate guide to getting over ‘The One’
You know what! Heartache doesn’t feel less lousy or painful the 2nd time around, or the 3rd. No matter how many times you undergo a breakup, the heartache, hurt, pain and anguish are horrible! In fact, every breakup ends up leaving you a little bit wiser, but a whole lot more bitter and hopeless from inside!
Undoubtedly, breakups are messy and painful. They are inevitable too in most cases. However, this doesn’t mean that you should continue to live in pain. Here are three basic yet powerful steps that you can take to start healing after a breakup:
1) Acceptance is the Key
Breakups bring in lots of doubt and confusion, especially self-doubt! You start wondering: He was ALL THAT. Or, he wasn’t ALL THAT, at all! The breakup was a mistake. You made that mistake. You should get him back at all costs, etc.
You know what!
It doesn’t matter! It’s over!
He has moved on. And so should you!
The sooner you accept things, the easier it would become to start healing your aching heart and move on.
2) Change Your Focus and Priorities
The problem with breakups is that we end up getting stuck in negative routines and patterns. For instance, you start obsessing over your ex. At times you start recalling the past and crying. Also, you can’t stop yourself from thinking about them. Moreover, you even start stalking them or their media profile.
All these behavior patterns make you lose your focus on the most important person in you life, that is YOU.
Hence, stop focusing on your ex and the time you spent with him and the mistakes made. Instead, start focusing on your own healing, self-care, self-worth. Focus on moving on.
Most importantly, talk to someone other than your friends, a professional! Therapy works wonders!
3) Have Faith
Breakups make us lose a very important thing, i.e., hope.
- We start believing the negative things said to us by our ex in the heat of the moment.
- We start doubting our potential to be in a good relationship. We start thinking ourselves unworthy of love.
- We end up thinking we would never find true love ever again.
Related: The 7 things I did to get over a big breakup — and why research says they work
After a painful breakup, we eventually end up falling into the pit of depression. Do remember that the best gift you can give yourself after a breakup is that of self-compassion and hope and faith. This means that you accept that your destiny is still unfolding. The Universe has something much better in store for you. You just need to allow love to manifest in your life through having faith. So, tell yourself again and again that things WILL GET BETTER!
Heartbreak is something you won’t even wish upon your worst enemy. Nevertheless, getting over heartbreak is an experience that helps you emotionally grow. Eventually, it helps you become a stronger person. For healing after a breakup, you have to accept the reality, pick yourself up, keep on going and have faith that you will find love again!
