Girls! You may think that your most important asset is your looks, attractiveness, or your car, property, money, or your career. You couldn’t have been more wrong! Evidently, the most important asset you have is your self-esteem, your sense of self-worth. 

What Does Low Self-Worth Feels Like 

 In reality, most of us never learn to work on building and preserving our self-worth. Or, we forget to do it under the demands of life and relationships. As a result, we start giving too much importance to others’ opinions and judgment. 

We are made fun for being too tall, too short, too lanky, too fat, not pretty enough! 

We are picked apart for our grades, our choice of study subjects, and our careers (or the lack of it). 

We are criticized for our taste in men, our inability to hold on to the men in our life. 

We are criticized for not being good wives and mothers. 

We are criticized for being too meek or too aggressive. 

When we are constantly questioned, bullied, ridiculed for who we are and our choices, it eventually starts affecting our sense of self-worth. We start to see ourselves from others’ lens and define ourselves accordingly. We start thinking that we are ugly, incompetent, unworthy of love, unlucky and what not! We tell ourselves things like:

Oh! I am such a loser.

 I don’t deserve this or anything good.

I am so dumb!

I can’t find a good job or hold on to it!

I can’t find a good man! 

I am not worthy of this [a job, a good relationship], so I better stick to what I have! 

A Low Sense of Self-Worth & Its Consequences 

That’s how a low sense of self-worth leads to making bad choices when it comes to choosing friends or boyfriends, career paths or going for jobs. We end up making deliberate wrong choices and staying in negative and restrictive patterns because we think we are not worthy of anything good.  This is how we end up choosing guilt, depression, and a lifetime of unhappiness. 

Well! You know what! People’s negative opinions don’t matter! They don’t define you! They only define their narrow thinking patterns.  

If you think that you have been a victim of low self-worth, here are 4 things you can do to cultivate, strengthen and bolster your self-worth: 

Put Your Needs First 

Are you always putting everybody else’s needs ahead of yours? While such kind of selflessness is good enough occasionally, it shouldn’t be a major theme of your life. You deserve love, nutrition, money, rest, validation just like everyone else around you.

 If you keep denying and foregoing these needs always, you would find others taking your for-granted. You would reach a point very soon from where your self-worth would start to dip lower and lower until it hits rock bottom. So, stop denying your needs always! Learn to say no sometimes and put your needs ahead of others. 

Listen to Feedback, Not Opinions 

We have been programmed to listen to others, pay heed to what they see. But there is a limit to it. You should need to discern between what is an honest feedback, a sincere advice, given in your best interest and ultimately meant to help you improve yourself, and what is an uninformed opinion or a criticism, meant only to make the saboteur(s) feel good about themselves. 

You have to draw boundaries ultimately and create limits. The sense of self-worth help you do that!  If someone is criticizing you unduly, call them out! Tell them that you would like to thank them for their opinion, but you won’t accept it as “the Truth”, i.e., “Your Truth”!

Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes! It’s human and very natural! But our mistakes and misjudgments usually make us feel less than confident about ourselves, our decision-making abilities. They make us feel guilty, even when others don’t.

If this has been your case, then it’s time to forgive yourself for whatever you have done wrong. Learn to give your inner critic a rest after a while! It is time to learn from your mistakes and carry the lessons forward. 

Choose Gratitude 

A positive life and mindset means making positive choices over negative ones. It means choosing gratitude, appreciation, thankfulness, mindfulness over ingratitude, discontent, and dissatisfaction. Even when we learn to be grateful to others, to God, to the Universe, we still ignore ourselves, our health, skills and blessings. 

This kind of ignorance makes us feel inadequate, deprived, unfulfilled and overwhelmed. But once we start acknowledging all that we have inside us and around us, our focus, confidence, and perspective begins to shift. 

What Self-Worth Means for Girls and Moms 

If you are a girl, learn to invest in your skills and not just your looks! Likewise, if you are a mom, learn to accept your children, especially daughters wholly, as they are! Praise their skills and their personalities. Allow them to have their own opinions. Encourage them to make their own choices and decisions. Encourage them to make and own up to their mistakes. Celebrate their wins, but also celebrate their failures and missteps. Discourage them from becoming people-pleasers and staying in hurtful relationships. 

To Sum Up! 

Your self-worth is your most important asset. So, do everything in your power to preserve it. If you have a high self-worth, you would feel good, confident, just as you are! You would be able to take care of yourself, no matter what your circumstances are. More importantly, you would value yourself!