A while ago, I spent a good chuck of the morning worrying, yes, worrying:
- Worrying about my family’s health, finances, etc.
- Worrying about the future.
- Worrying about the bad economy.
- Worrying about the local and global politics.
- Worrying about the environment.
Of course, all the aforementioned factors generating fear and anxiety are important factors shaping our lives and that of our loved ones and the world we live in. But sadly, much that I would like, I couldn’t control each and everything. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from worrying and ended up becoming directionless and miserable! Before I knew it, the day was over! There was nothing I could do to bring back that time lost!
You see, I have a worry wart! It runs in the family. My mom has a high degree of anxiety. It has only worsened as she has aged. So it is natural for me to have some of this worry juice running within me inherently. As a student, I have used worry as a fuel to ace my exams.
Likewise, as a professional, I have used anxiety to be productive and meet deadlines successfully. However, over the years, I have realized how detrimental this practice has been for my mental and physical health.
Nothing comes out good in the long run, if you keep operating from a place of anxiousness and insecurity.
Your creative engine and personal motivation would run out of steam very quickly, due to unbridled worrying.
What fear and anxiety do: they make us obsess over everything under the sun, things we have no control over. Fear makes us lose sight of our goals, our motivation. Fear makes us forget all the things that we can do and should do.
In this respect, I have found the concept of Stephen Covey’s Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence relevant and helpful. Covey states that we can categorize our worries in two kinds of circles: In the Circle of Concern, we can include everything that we are concerned about but can’t do anything about. On the other hand, in the Circle of Influence, we can include all those worries which we are concerned about but can do something about. Let’s see some examples:
| Circle of Concern | Circle of Influence |
| Worry: I am worried about the national debt, the weather extremes, the international law and order situation and Global Warming. Possible Solution(s):???? | Worry: I am concerned about my health. Possible Solution(s): I should start changing my lifestyle to become more fit, start eating healthier, consult a Dr to get some diagnostic tests and follow through his advice. |
| Your Example | Your Example |
How to Transition from the Reactive Mindset to the Proactive One
A reactive mind continually worries and replaces one anxiety with another one. The pattern continues until you exhaust your mental energy and get nothing done. On the other hand, the proactive mindset is:
- Able to distinguish between the things it can do something about and the things it has no control over.
- Understand in which sphere it (the mindset) leans towards often, then decides upon the needed course of action.
- In case, one dwells more often in the Circle of Concern, one makes the conscious efforts to make the switch.
A Small Drill
See the Circle and Circle of Influence chart above? Using the given example, categorize your own example(s) of the things you tend to worry about. Also, try to come up with the solutions. The latter part of the exercise would help you situate your nature of worry in the paradigm of things, i.e., things you can do nothing about versus things you can do something about!
Now, I am not trying to say that we shouldn’t worry AT ALL about things we have no or little control over. But let’s rationalize the thought process. For instance, you cannot control global warming, but as an individual, you can do your part in minimizing the wastage of natural resources and adopting a greener mindset.
Similarly, you cannot fight off the bad economy, but you can make efforts to come up with ways to generate passive income, cut down expenses, and even find ways to engage inflation affected people in your neighborhood in order to lessen their financial burden. As a woman, I try to buy more from women-run small businesses in order to support the sisterhood.
The Conclusion
Worry is a natural tendency. There are times when this tendency pushes us to make the necessary changes, take required actions to get rid of the source of worry. It also makes us human and empathetic too. But worrying in excess about anything that we have little or no control over is just damaging to our mental health, morale and productivity. If you are a worrier, then you need to assess what is the nature of your worries, how much control you have over them and then make the necessary changes in your thought patterns and how you deal with the worries. After all, a proactive mindset is the most productive one.
