We all have people around us who just love to throw around their ill-informed opinions and off-the-mark judgment. They have something to say almost about everything! I call them Opinionated Omar, Intrusive Issac and Judgment Judy.

Humor aside, people like these and their snide remarks and opinions have the immense power to spoil your day and ruin your mood (or we think that they have that power!). What actually happens is that they make us doubt ourselves, our actions and intentions, so we enable them in many ways to give forth their opinions and judgments.

How We Invite People’s Negative Opinions & Judgment

We invite people to judge us if…

• We suffer from lack of self-esteem.
• We show lack of confidence in ourselves and in our actions.
• We doubt ourselves and vocalize it often in front of others.
• We fail to stand up for ourselves.

How to Effectively Deal with People’s Negative Opinions and Judgments

It’s not possible to avoid people’s negative opinions and judgments. However, it requires some tact and growing a thicker skin to deal with such kind of negativity. Here are a few steps I would personally vouch for:

Understand that It’s About Them, Not Us

We wonder why some people are so negative and opinionated. Or, why they have to judge everything and everyone!

 The answer is that usually an opinion and judgment stem from jealousy, an ill-informed perception, a negative personal experience or personal trauma. They choose to deal with these feelings through unkindness towards others!

Whatever is the source of these people’s negativity, don’t let this negativity ruin your peace of mind. It’s not about us but them.

Self-Work: Work on YOURSELF

When you put the spotlight back from yourself on to them, you prevent yourself from getting hurt from the negativity and unkindness and stop yourself from getting sucked into the cycle of doubt and depression.

Remember, no one is born perfect! We are all work in progress. Only some of us are more aware of our shortcomings and are willing to do SELF-WORK.

So, work on yourself, your self-esteem, confidence level, skills, looks, even the vibes you give off.

Because when you emit a strong, positive vibe, you attract people emitting similar vibes and deflect those falling below it.

Understand What & Who is Important (or Unimportant)!

Why are we even interested in hearing negative people’s negative opinions. Some people aren’t just not that important or worth it to be paid attention to. They don’t need to be given that kind of a head space. Hence, what they think or say about you or your personal matters is irrelevant.

When you shift your lens, things fall into perspective; people are put in their rightful place!

Draw Clear Boundaries

People usually try to push into and impinge the boundaries drawn by others. They barge in when there are no boundaries or unclear ones.

 Come to think of it we are the ones who give people the POWER to judge us! You are the one who has to draw the boundaries and keep reinforcing them.

Tell Them Off (Politely but Firmly)

Most of the time, the best strategy when dealing with someone sharing their uninvited advice or judgment is to just IGNORE them. But some people are persistent and keep interfering in others’ personal matters and lives. Hence, they need to put in their place, sometimes repeatedly, so that they can learn to mind their business eventually. You can be polite and firm, but if this kind of overbearing behavior continues, you have to be rude. Here are some of the responses that have worked for me:

“It’s your opinion.”

“If I need help or your opinion, you would be the first person I would call!”

“I appreciate your concern, I really do! But please let me do it my way!”

“Your opinion is irrelevant!”

 “You need to work on yourself first before you would be in position to comment on this!”

The Takeaways

Opinionated Omar, Intrusive Issac and Judgment Judy are everywhere. They get to you from time to time. While it’s not possible to avoid them always, you can use tact and tenacity in dealing with them. Dealing with negative opinions and judgment are life skills worth developing.