Good evening
This next blog I am starting has 2 key points to it…
I have for the most part over the last decade been living a clean & healthy lifestyle. Eating clean has so many benefits that comes along with it. From your skin complexion, to the overall balance of your temple. We must have food & we must have water. What is not a necessity is alcohol or any other unnatural stimulants. I understand how the world turns & how we find ourselves indulging in alot of the wrong things, food, drugs, sex & certain people sometimes ?
Yes all the above you can fall for easily, let’s face it it’s life, we live & we learn.
I found myself making some wrong decisions & choices, one of which was detrimental to myself, my health & my wealth. In 2016 I became romantically involved with a person that was living a different lifestyle than I was , but I never have set pre-judgemental thoughts about anyone & everybody/everyone deserves a chance at happiness.
As I think back I remember telling a friend “she is pretty cool” & I went on a date with her & I didn’t have sex with her or anything afterwards, I had to add that part in that I DIDNT HAVE SEX WITH HER AFTERWARDS. I carry myself with pride & dignity ,unlike some others that have an ulterior motives , my intentions are always pure & genuine. I wanted to show this woman that there are actual gentleman out here that want more than just sex from a lady & best way of doing this & showing this is to have different things to talk about & other stimulating conversation. If you are with someone you just met & the topic of sex comes up ,where do you think it’s going to lead too & what do you think is going to be on the other person’s mind. So instead of trying to get to know the person & begin to learn someone, the mind is instantly sidetracked with thoughts of sex.This isn’t a proper beginning & can lead to terrible& unhappy ending. Let me rewind this story & blog post. The friend I was talking to about “Yeah she cool & we went on a date ” is actually a high school friend of mines & I’ve known her for over 30 years & I’ve had a crush on her the whole time, since I 1st laid eyes on her my freshman year of high school ? you can’t see me But I am blushing smh. Anyway the reason i told her I went on a date & I didn’t have sex afterwards was because I had been saving myself for her from 2013-2016.
I was overly infatuated with this woman I knew from as a teenager ,all the way into our 20’s 30′ & 40’s. She is & was everything I wanted in someone, she was raised by her grandmother, she helped raise her younger sisters, she was beautiful & smart & had / still has the biggest heart. This woman was something & someone I wasn’t supposed to have , I used to beat myself up with negativity self talk & playing myself down. Two things I suggest you shouldn’t do. I always wanted a college educated woman even tho all I did was attend a few semesters in community college & this was my way of showing I can do whatever I put my mind too. I was told by my ex-wife / son’s mother “Yeah I was married from the age of 24-29 ??♂️ whole other post about that though” that I would never be nothing & that I would never change ? SUBCONSCIOUSLY thinking OUT LOUD…like whatttt I would never be nothing or change behaviors of the way I was living. I’m a ♉ Taurus, i may be a little stubborn ,but not stupid & I have the heart of a lil chocolate cupid? Speaking of ? it takes me back to of my high school crush, well might as well say lifelong crush… She’s always on my mind. Ok Ok back to the point. When anybody tells you you can’t do something, take it as a challenge, embrace. it & go after it, not to prove a point but to show yourself YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR MIND TOO.
I cut my hair off ,stop smoking weed ,stopped drinkng & participating in street related activities. Although i only went to the Community College of Denver for 3 semesters & didn’t complete my IT Security Certification , I had masters degree from the school of hard knocks ??♂️ I was celibate for a year & I focused on being a better person,a smarter man & the strong black father that I was then & even more now…
The crush from school has watched each & every chapter I’m my life & knows me on the inside & out ,so we talk here & there & I can talk to her about anything, vice versa true friends type stuff #friendsbeforefacebook
Oh yeah I want to a hashtag about friends before Facebook & I also will have a long blog post on the subject & meaning behind this # I want to start…
Alright Alright back to the point & story
So after I went on a date with the woman I was previously talking about,the romantically involved one.
I told my friend “That she is cool ”
Buttttt after I seen a few pictures of her I noticed the LIQUOR LOOK ?
The liquor look is a saying of mines & it means that a person looks like they drink & consumes alcohol.
I am very observant highly aware & intuned with my thoughts. So I knew better, it was other things that formed a bond & relationship between us, but I thought I knew what I was getting into, but the alcohol was only one part of my slow but steady downslope into putting permanent poison into my own temple. A man has to cherish his temple ,the same way he wants a woman to cherish yours & then you cherish eachothers together.
Long story short we started going on dates ,hanging out chillin all of that & more, you know how it goes. I don’t kiss & tell , but I can tell you we stayed with eachother for a lil over 4 years ,crazy how time flys when your having fun. So from 2016 to early 2021
2 break up’s but not part ways completely because we loved & liked eachother too much to ever just let go. This whole relationship we drank shots, margaritas ?& plenty of adult beverages I’d take her to all kinds of different restaurants have fun laugh eat & drink this became a regular thing & it would happen on week days wk ends & whenever we would come together. I always didn’t like the feeling afterwards , like damm I’m messing myself up ,but when in love your in denial of things sometimes. All I could do was be disappointed in myself for allowing myself to lose my self discipline & slowly lose all that I worked for emotionally & physically for so many years. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Now here is the second point of this post.
Let me add that I am very ambitious about being an author & I have 2 major book ideas ?that I am going to bring to life soon STAY TUNED
Currently I am in a 6-8 wk recovery period from shoulder replacement surgery, I neglected myself & just kept on working & working out & putting my energy & efforts into the relationship I was in. A man is supposed to want his lady woman wife etc to be on top of her game & always climbing higher & higher for bettering positions In life. 2 people reach out , pull,push & drag eachother to greatness ??
I decided to do my recovery & rehab alone & by myself not out of stubbornness, but more out of fear fear of someone taking advantage of my vulnerabilities, seeing me at a weak point & then me being obligated for accepting help , but really telling myself I’d be there & help someone I love & cared about with no obligations involved.
That is something I have to work on is accepting help
Pride is Pride Strength is Strength
2 be strong alone forms a stronger back bone but don’t forget your the rib & the main key ingredient to a happy & healthy home ?
Here is the ending & it might take you for a little twist ,but I’m sure you’ll catch on to it.
So I scoop up my compadre & I’ll leave his name out of it because it’s part of the point as well ?
We go to a Mexican restaurant sit down & get ready to order. Annette, the waitress asked us what we wanted to drink ? He ordered a Corona & I fixed my mouth to ask her what kind of margarita does she suggest. Her reply was ” I don’t drink ” I ordered a glass of water with lemon & smile. Annette’s answer made me think of how I was before & how I want to be able to go out & do activities ,have fun all with no alcohol. She didn’t know how admiring that was to me & how someone or something can change your change of thought in a good way?
My compadre offered to pay the bill & I said cool on me next one.
This is the 2nd time he paid for the grub session & the last time he left a 5.00 tip on a 70.00 bill & it was some ones & some change ??♂️ I felt so bad because it was a spot I took him & his son to & I knew the waitresses. So tonight I looked at the tip & boom there it is 5.00 lol smh. I told myself ah nahhh un huh. I let him walk out the restaurant & I turned around & ask Annette if I could leave her a tip from my card & apologized.
I told her little did she know but she helped me not order that margarita that I rewired my mind mentally to drink while eating Mexican food that’s like past relationship trauma, when I KNOW BETTER.
She told me the reasons why she doesn’t drink & I admired the fact of it…
The 2 points I was making with this post is….
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON &
DON’T DATE A CHEAP TIPPER ??♂️? LOL
Hope you enjoyed this post & you gained something out it. Good Thoughts Good Advice or A Good Laugh
Peace & Blessings