Most of us tend to hang on to something (or someone) that no longer serves a purpose in our current lifestyle. Yet we face a really heck of a hard time in letting go of it. The result: clutter, mess and garbage taking over your physical space and mental one too.
You would feel unhappy by the way your room, how the house looks, and more so how it feels. Yet, any attempt to sort things out or to throw the extra stuff away would make you even more anxious. Instead of sorting and throwing stuff away, you would resort to shoving it back again in the closet, drawers, cupboard or garage.
You tell yourself: “I will deal with it later!” And that time never comes, as you keep delaying the inevitable, and the junk keeps getting accumulated.
Source: Unsplash
There is a backstory that is behind this particular blog post:
My dad (late) was a kleptomaniac but never realized or acknowledged that he had a serious problem. The result: our family house was always filled with tons of books magazines, 60s era dressing, music records, VCR and videotapes. He practically kept everything he ever bought.
He passed away a few months ago and I am still dealing with the clutter. It’s monumental; it’s sentimental too. Everything reminds me of him! Yet I am resentful of how he let the clutter and junk take over our lives and didn’t allow us to de-clutter.
Consequently, most of my free time is spent sorting and de-cluttering our family home. So, the struggle is real and personal.
Source: Unsplash
Getting Rid of Stuff is Hard. Here is Why!
What is it about de-cluttering that makes it so intimidating, so hard? It’s not just about the physical effort that you have to make to de-clutter your space, but it’s the mental effort, the discomfort associated with sorting and parting with things. The three main reasons as to why de-cluttering is difficult and nearly impossible for some are as follows:
1. The Pressure to Make On the Spot Decisions
When you start tackling clutter, you have to decide then and there which things you actually need and which things you only think you need. Of course, making rapid and permanent decisions in minutes about stuff that has accumulated over time isn’t easy.
Most of us don’t have that much time or energy on our hands to dedicate hours and days to major de-cluttering. Most of the time, clutter is the rabbit hole we slip into and get lost.
2. ‘What ifs…’ The Uncertainty
The second biggest hurdle in effective de-cluttering is the fearsome ‘what if’ question, i.e., the following thought pattern:
What if I need this item in the future?
Do I have to buy it again?
Let’ me store it, just in case I need it again!
The pandemic has given rise to this phenomenon to a dangerous level. People had gotten cooped up inside too long before re-emerging. The thin dividing lines among home, work, and play have blurred, creating more clutter and chaos.
The economic downturn, the loss of jobs and financial insecurities have increased people’s ‘just in case…’ tendencies to the max. We don’t know what life is to through at us next, so we want to be prepared to the max, which kind of makes sense.
The Sentimental Clutter
Holding on to things with which pleasant memories are associated is a very common form of cluttering. These things remind us of a time in past which felt great and was much better, settled or saner than now.
On the contrary, certain items remind us of a painful time that we like to remember and relive for cathartic value, i.e., a heartbreak, a friendship gone sour, an illness, death of a loved one, so on and so forth.
Whatever the event or connection happens to be, there is a very strong emotion at its root, one that we want to hold onto and relive.
Moreover, there is another type of sentimental clutter that we accumulate out of guilt. Someone we love has given us a gift or an inheritance, and we don’t want to get rid of it, as it means betrayal of that person or his/her memory.
Difficulty in Facing and Accepting Life’s Changes
If something is no longer being used then it means that you have transitioned from one phase of your life into another, as a result, the stuff once needed so direly and in use is no longer required. It belonged to a part of your life that isn’t there anymore. A few examples:
- Pairs of jeans that don’t fit anymore (meaning you have put on weight!)
- Clothes that have gone out of fashion (meaning a lot of time has passed)
- Camping gear, although you don’t camp anymore! (meaning you aren’t that young or adventurous anymore, or you are not into this hobby).
- Kids’ toys and clothes are hoarded, despite them growing up and having moved out! (The empty nest syndrome!)
- Fine crockery and cutlery locked away in cupboards (meaning you don’t know, invite or entertain that many people now!)
Now that you have gone through different reasons that lead to clutter, are you able to effectively situate your clutter problem in the emotional context?
The solution to an emotional problem is in the emotions. Until and unless you situate the emotion, validate the feelings, you won’t be able to effectively deal with the clutter, no matter how many organizers you would buy and storage spaces you would rent.
Letting Go is the Key to De-cluttering. Here is How
You have to separate your emotions from the clutter and make rational decisions.
Find a Purpose or Re-purpose
Something might have monetary worth and great sentimental value, but it no longer serves a purpose in your life. Consider donating it to a charity or a beloved friend of a family member.
People have lost their livelihoods in this pandemic! Just imagine how grateful they would be to be the recipient of some thoughtfulness and kindness.
Just imagine how good it feels to see a nephew wearing the barely used jacket your kid outgrew.
Source: Unsplash
Accept & Own Change
Accepting and validating such changes in your life can be an unsettling thing. It is because we thought that we would remain forever young, slim, fit, popular, energetic.
A part of us wants to relive that past perfect, or at least, momentarily experience it through an object. Sometimes, it does happen, but many times, the magic is just gone! You just have to accept it.
The cute outfits that used to make you feel like a million-dollar once are unable to recreate that feeling.
If you are working from home, it makes more sense to replace your formal wardrobe with comfortable t-shirts, hoodies and sweatpants.
Put Limits
You have to draw clear boundaries when it comes to the time, space and energy you can dedicate to your sentimental stuff, otherwise, you would get easily overwhelmed by the sorting process.
- Don’t dedicate more than 2 hours on a weekend to de-cluttering. Hire professional help.
- Adopt a minimalist lifestyle and stop buying things on an impulse.
- Let your spouse or kids keep their beloved magazine collection or toys, but don’t let these overtake your house or your sanity. Help them choose.
Hang on to Hope, Not Stuff
All the sentimental clutter isn’t worthless. Holding on to a few sentimental clutter can be therapeutic too. After all, as human beings, what are we without our memories! Nevertheless, the best thing I find worth hanging onto is hope and gratitude. What about you?
Let this post be a two-way conversation, so leave me a comment!
- What does clutter mean to you?
- Which steps have you taken recently to fight clutter?