We all want to be liked by others. Most of us care what others think about us. Likewise, we want our work to be validated and our contribution to be acknowledged. The desire is only human! Undoubtedly, being given importance, being heard, praised and validated add to our sense of self-worth! This validation and acknowledgement motivate us to work harder, deeper, better.
However, at the same time, giving too much importance to others’ opinions, wanting to be appreciated by them, relying on what they think about us becomes a limitation, stops your growth and brings down your productivity.
Let me share an example: You don’t go to the gym or quit going to the gym because you are not confident about how you look, how your body looks in your workout outfit, and how people react to you! Let’s see another example: You stick with a dead end job or a dead beat relationship because you are afraid of how people would perceive you as a quitter or a failure. As a result, you choose to stay miserable and unhappy in your current limiting circumstances because you care more about what people think and less about what you want and your progress.
Before making any small or big decisions, you wonder what would people think and how they would react to you and your choices! Whenever you are giving a lot of importance to what others think about you and your work, you start to lose your focus and purposefulness. You start falling behind. You stop paying attention to prospects and progress, results and the outcomes.
If you value your productivity as well as mental health then you should stop caring about what think about you. Here is why:
You Don’t Need Permission from Others
Most of us don’t start or go forward and continue with something we want because we don’t see people noticing us or validating our efforts. Let be clear: You and I don’t need permission from others to pursue our dreams and live our best life. Only we understand what is worth going forward for and what’s at stake if we don’t. You are the only person who has the potential to change your life.
Others’ Opinions Don’t Matter
Only you know what your values and priorities are, what you are working towards, and what you want from life. Meanwhile, people around you view and judge you and your work from their own perspective and values. Since you are on your own unique journey, you don’t need to pay attention to what they think or want. You are the master and orchestrator of your own destiny.
Wanting Others’ Approval Means Low Self-Esteem
The need to be validated always points towards self-esteem issues and a lack of self-worth. It’s precisely the reason why some women dress up and carry themselves provocatively because they want men to find them attractive. But when you are confident about who you are and what you are worth, you would stop trying to capture the attention of others in general, and men in specific, and work towards result.
You are in Competition with Your Self
The tendency to compare ourselves to others is natural. But it shouldn’t be the only means to motivate yourself or the yardstick for you to measure your progress. Everyone has their own circumstances and unique gifts, talents as well as limitations. The only thing that matters at the end of the day is that you have done better than before and that you are a better version of yourself than before.
You Try to Prove Yourself to the Wrong People
People end up wasting, not just hours, but a lifetime in trying to get approval from others who really don’t care about us. On the other hand, people who actually value you and your efforts don’t want you to prove your worth to them. They don’t care what you wear, where you live, which car you drive, what you do for a living. Instead, they accept and value you for who you are!
Caring for Approval Now Means Regrets Later
When we care too much about how people think about us right now, we make petty compromises to be able to fit in with them in the present. We end up giving up on a brighter and more fulfilled future. You don’t want to be the person who wakes up 20 years down the road with no progress and huge regrets.
Invest In Yourself
Looking for ways to get accepted and just fit in the ground is really taxing and frustrating. But once you realize that you really don’t need to do that and it really doesn’t add anything to your life, you start focusing your energies on yourself, improving your self-esteem and sense of self-worth, start working on the things that matter to you!
To Sum Up
We all need to feel valued and validated by our loved ones and the society. But caring too much about what people think and wanting their approval means wasting your time, energy and talent, giving up on your goals, compromising on your personal aspirations and happiness. You basically sign up for a lot of hurt, guilt, disappointment and regrets. But when you stop caring for approval and validation, you start living! You start focusing your energies on yourself and the things that are worth it: your self-worth, self-esteem, happiness, goals and aspiration and a brighter future.
