There are so many reasons why people get into relationships with people they shouldn’t, thus making breakups inevitable! I won’t wish heartbreak upon someone I dislike. Breakups are tough. They are messy. As a woman, I get it!  I have been down that road several times. The ache doesn’t get better, at least initially. But eventually it does, as the coping mechanism does get stronger. So do you! Here is what I learnt about healing from a broken heart:

1. Give Yourself Time to Heal

It is very important to give yourself time to heal.  If you have broken up with someone, or someone has broken up with you, either ways you are going to feel bad about it. The first thing you should do is to let yourself feel sad, if that’s what you are experiencing. You need to let yourself grieve. You can do this in your own way: Cry, get angry, cuss, sleep it off, call him and bang the phone down. But then move on!

Next, the most important thing you should do is to give yourself time to heal. Do this by talking to your friends and family members. You may want to journal. I think you should travel! I did! And it helped immensely!

There is no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup, but positive, proactive ways work in your favor. You should focus on yourself and on your own feelings.

2. Don’t Jump Back into the Dating Game

You shouldn’t date anyone right after your breakup. You are not here to prove to others, or to your ex, that you are still desirable and brimming with admirers. There is no point trying to make him jealous. Your sense of self-worth amounts more than that. You would only end up burying yourself deeper in sh*t in the process. Focus on you, on your healing and repairing your heart. And when you are ready to date again, do some introspection: There is nothing wrong with dating, but you should think about the person you are dating before you do anything else. When you are ready to date again, you should pick someone who you feel good with. That’s the most important thing!

3. Don’t Judge Yourself

You shouldn’t judge yourself for falling for a jerk. You should stop thinking that you are a bad person and you deserved what happened. You may have a lot of questions about why the relationship ended. You may wonder whether you were doing something wrong. You may think that maybe you did something to drive that person away. This is natural. However, don’t take this too far.  Don’t take it personally. Don’t try to analyze your past moves with your ex and try to find faults. You should learn to trust yourself again. Be the person you want to be. 

4. Diversify Your Interests

When we are sad, we like to indulge in activities which relate to our moods and not the things that make us feel good! We would like to watch movies based on things that make us cry, make us yearn for things we want but don’t have. So don’t watch mushy, “happily ever after” movies, watch something realistic, something inspiring, something “feel good”. Couples in a relationship tend to become myopic. They don’t see beyond themselves. That’s why when there is a breakup, one feels lost. Use the breakup as an opportunity to explore everything new and unfamiliar.  You should go out and meet new people, pursue newer hobbies. Who knows what you end up discovering!

5. Take Care of Yourself

Enough about ex! You need to take care of the most important person in your life – You! When you are going through a bad time, no one else is going to be there for you, but you. You also need to take care of physical, mental and emotional health. You have to be healthy. Don’t let yourself get into trouble. Make sure that you are eating well and getting enough sleep. You may need some counseling or therapy. Go for it, if you feel you need it!

Just Remember…

Heartbreak and heartache bring pain. It brings maturity as well. Maturity brings wisdom and bitterness too. However, don’t try to get neither too bitter, too sarcastic, or too bitter after a breakup. Just focus on yourself, your healing, your transition back into life and wait for the love you deserve.