As kids grow older, it becomes important to teach them to set and respect healthy boundaries. Most of the time we think that kids would learn these manners naturally and gradually. This kind of learning, in most cases, doesn’t come that about successfully.

Disrespectful and disruptive behavior is pretty common among kids these days. Just, ask the teachers what a nightmare it is to deal with bullies, disrupters and boundary violators.

Here are a few basic manners you need to teach your kids as soon as they are able to understand and follow instructions:

1. Seeking Permission

Teach your kids to ask for permission in public and at home too. This is because home is the place from where formative training starts. This means telling them to:

• Knock always before opening a door.
• Ask for permission from the person inside the room before entering a room.
• Ask for permission before taking anything from anyone.

Now, this social rule applies to you as well. For instance, when you are taking a toy or a book from your kid, don’t snatch it right away. Ask for their permission by saying: “May I take this, <name>?

Even when kids are too young to understand what is happening here, demonstrating something helps in setting the stage early for positive behavior.

As far as knocking on the door rule goes, you should start teaching this rule to your kids as early as possible. And then when your kids are transitioning towards their teens, you can start following the rule of knocking on their doors before entering their rooms.

2. Making Kids Share Things

Kids are territorial about things, specially toys. It’s not their fault because they are too young to have the feeling of empathy. However, forcing kids to share their toys with other kids can make them anxious and unhappy.

Nevertheless, sharing is a way of life and not just a necessary social skill that needs to be taught gradually and patiently.

Here are some of the indirect ways you can teach your kids about sharing:

• Point out when someone doesn’t have anything. Leave it to the kid to decide whether he wants to share or not.
• When you another kid sharing something with others, praise that behavior in front of your kid.
• If he/she ends up sharing something, appreciate and praise the gesture.
• Set the example by sharing things yourself with others.

3. Consideration About Others’ Feelings

To iterate, kids are born with emotions. But they learn emotions like empathy and compassion towards others through the environment, training, examples and demonstration. You basically need to teach your kids what it’s like to walk in the other person’s shoes.

Kids start to display the capacity to care and help as early as 14 to 18 months. Thus, this is the right time to start teaching them about consideration and empathy towards other.

Start by labeling emotions like these:

· Kind

• Sad
• Hurt
• Rude
• Happy
• Rude
• Upset
• Grateful
• Politeness

The next step is to identify how your kids’ words or actions may impact his family/peers.

For instance:

• Your sister was upset because you took her toy without asking.
• Mommy is sad because you yelled at her.
• You didn’t pick up your room despite being told, I am upset about it.
• Don’t push the swing too hard, or your friend may fall down and hurt himself.
• I am very grateful that you are helping me clear the dishes from the table.
• If you call out to your friend as ‘dumbo’, he would feel bad and hurt. Would you like it if someone calls you that name!
• I am not feeling well! Can you guys go and play in the other room, please?
• If you stare at someone like that, they will feel very bad.

Most of the times, kids, just like adults, don’t understand (or deliberately ignore) that their words and behavior are not just theirs, but they impact others too.

Be a Role Model for Your Kids

The most important thing is that you have to demonstrate these positive behaviors to your kids in order for them to emulate them.

If you are rude to strangers and people in the service industry, you can’t expect your kids to learn kindness and empathy towards others.

Likewise, if your kid sees you invading the privacy of your spouse, they would learn the same behavior.

The Final Analysis

Being a parent is not just about providing your kids with the basic necessities of life or indulging them in luxuries. A parent’s most important job is to help her kids important social skills that help them evolve as mindful, considerate and respectful human beings:

• Asking for permission help in creation of respectful boundaries.
• Making kids share things help them become generous.
• Teaching kids to be mindful of others’ feels help them become empathic and kind towards others.

In a society infested by problems like bullying, gun control, isolation and violence, there is a need more than ever to raise kids who are mindful, considerate and respectful.

But we must always remember that training starts at home. As moms and guardians, we have to work on ourselves to become a better version of ourselves. Kids do help us become a better version of ourselves.

We have to understand that we are worthworkin4 and our kids, as our most important asset and our future are worthworkin4.